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A tale of confidence…

I remember when I was younger and…

I won’t tell you how I learned this lesson, but I learned this lesson.

Oh alright, I’ll tell you how I learned this lesson.

I was on LSD.

(A very very long time ago).

And LSD can make you very paranoid.

I was in the middle of a house party.

And I started feeling paranoid.

And I didn’t want to leave the party.

So I was determined to stay.

I decided to not feel paranoid.

I just made the decision.

And how I did that was saying to myself:

“I don’t actually care what anyone else thinks.”

I can’t control what they think.

So why worry about what they think.

My thoughts move so quickly?

Why am I worried about their thoughts?

Around this time I always wanted an Armani suit.

Yeah, that’s what I wanted years and years ago.

Alright. I haven’t got one. I’d have a bit more class now.

I’d get one made in Saville Row or Milan.

Anyways, then I wanted an Armani suit and it got me thinking after the LSD experience…

If I walked along with this desired Armani suit on,

someone might say that I look suave.

Someone else may say that I’m a show-off.

So what can I do about that?

I’m wearing a suit for myself.

I don’t actually care what they think about it.

I’m doing it for myself.

So it’s good to understand that the actions that we take need to be in line with ourselves, and not what other people think.

If you keep worrying about what other people think you’ll always be under their influence.

Under their spell.

The seed of the problem is that we lack confidence in ourselves.

So what we want is for everyone to like us

and to be nice to us all the time.

Because when there’s an element of wanting that.

Needing that.

It indicates that we don’t fully like ourselves.

But when you break that down, it is a little bit lazy on our part?

Because it’s kind of saying,

“Look, I don’t like myself, so I’m now going to demand that you like me instead. Okay?”

“Even though I know you might not like yourself and your moods change with the wind like mine!”

LOL

Can you see what a precarious position that we put ourselves in?

So what would I recommend you do when you feel that you are worried about what people think about you?

I would use the negative feeling as a marker that I need to work on my own self-confidence.

I was having a chat with a client of mine about this the other day.

Confidence comes from self.

It comes from within.

It doesn’t actually come from what we do or who we are with.

It comes from the self.

So that’s what you need to work on.

If ever you have imposter syndrome.

Or you’re worried about what other people think.

They’re just outcomes.

What you need is the source.

And the source is of the problem is you don’t like yourself 100%.

You gotta learn to love and like yourself!

You’re amazing.

I’m not just saying this to butter you up, right?

You really are.

We all have mood swings.

That’s not the measurement of you.

Focus on your qualities.

And again and I’ve said this before.

If you don’t know what your qualities are asked the people around you.

And then work on them.

Become an expert.

Look them up in a dictionary, get the definitions.

Wikipedia them.

Etymology them.

Then bring them into your awareness.

Into your thoughts.

Your words.

Your actions.

This is what I have been doing for the last 20 years with life-changing results.

It works.

You just have to do the work!

And enjoy the process as you go.

And don’t forget it really doesn’t matter what others think of you it’s what you think of yourself that matters!

Happy practicing

Keep smiling & speak anon

Positive Neil

PS Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you…

1) Join the Good Thinking Club – click here for more details

2) You could jump on a one-off 1-hour Turbo Coaching Call with me – click here

3) 1:2:1 Coaching and Mentoring click here to enquire