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I started a business in 2011…

I closed it in 2018.

It was a franchised domestic cleaning business.

And what I very quickly learned there was this…


It was like doing a degree in acceptance…

One area that comes to mind would be the staff.

I would get frustrated when staff would call in sick.

Whether they were telling the truth or they weren’t.

It was frustrating because it would impact on the running of the business.

It was only a small business, it would put a lot of pressure on everyone else.

So, initially, I would get frustrated.

I never missed a day, because I was the business owner, so I couldn’t miss a day.

And I got frustrated that everyone else didn’t have that same attitude that they didn’t have that same energy and enthusiasm and…

Because ultimately, they didn’t want to be there.

They were there because they needed money.

They took the job because I thought it was going to be easy.

A lot of the time this was the attitude.

So, we had a contrast in reasons for being there.

So for me to want the members of staff to have the same awarenesses as me

Have the same energy and input as me was impossible.

It was irrational.

Yeah, because I’m desiring something,

I’m pinning something on something that’s never going to happen.

And it didn’t happen in the seven years (which is one of the key reasons why I closed it is because I knew this was never ever going to change).

I needed to find solutions.

And the only way I was going to be able to bring solutions into the business because the business needed to run every day was…

To calm myself down

To stop getting so frustrated

To stop keep asking “Why are these people not doing this and doing that?”

And then, when, when I step back, I can look at it and ask…

What is it that you want here?

As you are maybe aware I run an online membership called the GoodThinking Club.

And in there we’ve got a thing called the Want Formula.

The Want Formula is that – behind every frustration and every negativity you experience, you’ve got a desire, that’s been unfulfilled.

Now, quite often that desire is irrational, when we step back from it and we really look at it quite often, it can never ever be fulfilled.

So, we are all driving ourselves and we’re getting frustrated and we’re getting upset and we’re becoming negative and we can even become really ill.

Through desiring something that can never actually happen.

So, when I step back, and I asked myself that question

What was it that I desired from the staff?

The answer – I wanted perfect members of staff.

So just saying that now lol.

It’s ridiculous.

It’s stupid.

Yeah, it’s impossible, because perfect perfectionism doesn’t currently exist in the world.

People have their own challenges

They have their own mindsets

Their own thoughts

Their own feelings

Their own memories

Their own experiences

Their own trauma

Their own happiness

All of these things shaped that person into being an individual who is different from me.

So, for me to want them to perfectly follow my script.

My desire…

Is impossible.

So, the quicker…

And this is what I learned…

The quicker that I accepted them, that they are who they are

Then the quicker I could become calm and move into the solution mode to keep the business going

Seriously if something is causing you a problem

An irritation

Causing you to get angry

Or even ill

Then accept it

I know it may be hard

And some say acceptance is weak

But it’s not

Acceptance is powerful because

It is only the first step

Step 2 is to calmly and rationally find the solution

(All challenges have a solution – it just might not be the one you were hoping for)

And it’s worth understanding that once you accept something it has zero influence over you, your mind and your feelings

Give it a go

I dare you 🙂

Keep smiling & speak anon

Positive Neil

PS Whenever you’re ready, here are 3 ways I can help you…

1) Join the Good Thinking Club – click here for more details

2) You could jump on a one-off 1-hour Turbo Coaching Call with me

3) I also offer 1:2:1 Coaching and Mentoring